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Let’s Talk About (Cam) Sex

By Jeremy Teel

Picture it. 2004 with the fastest DSL Internet connection possible, and Usher’s “Confessions” album is playing softly in the background. You are fresh out of a group chat on YIM (Yahoo Instant Message) with a person who answered the ASL (Age/Sex/Location) question perfectly. Now, you’re ready to explore those things you saw in the newly released google image search in real-life, but their L is 400 miles away. What do you do? You cam!

Camming has come a long way since the days of YIM with the development of higher speed internet, HD cameras built into our laptops, and multiple live-streaming platforms, including Facebook, Zoom, and Skype. The one thing that hasn’t changed is people’s desire to connect virtually for sexy encounters without the anxiety and challenges of meeting in person. However, if you’re going to get your freak on-cam, you might need to have some things checked off first.

Get to Know Them

It’s not required to know the person you are camming with. In fact, for some, the anonymity makes it hotter. However, having a connection/attraction goes a long way in making the dynamic more comfortable. It allows room for opening up and expanding the limits of your interactions. In a world of catfishing and cyberbullying, the additional security of knowing who is on the other side of the feed makes a world of difference in comfort.


Space and Self Prep

Now that you have established your partner(s) for your cam session, you want to set some time aside to get in the game. We suggest treating this as a regular in-person session, but with a focal point for the camera to view you. Light a candle, put on some soft music, or throw those rubber sheets you’ve wanted to use on the bed. Whatever gets you in the mood to be your most outward sexual self, do it! Also, never underestimate the need for good lighting. What’s the point of camming if you can’t see what’s happening?


Foreplay = Sexting

Look, even the most seasoned actors have issues improving, and authors have a hard time orating, so a great way to get the virtual mood going is to sext (sexual text). Think of it as a way to get in the mood without having to verbalize everything you’ve ever wanted to do. Remember this is supposed to be fun, so drop an emoji ???????????? to say something you might be a little too shy to type. Add a little spice by using chat features on your platform, maybe for a script or a timeline, doesn’t matter just explore.


Explore Fantasies – Get Creative

Likely the best part of this is that you can go wild and explore freely without the pressures of physical interactions. Go ahead and explore those fantasies you’ve been thinking about. Thinking of trying out that new toy you saw? Go for it! Thinking about some BDSM play? Go for it! Get as creative as you and your partner(s) want to get, and feel free to save some for next time. There is no limit!


Consent Still Exists

Permission and limits are needed for all things sexual (and non-sexual), and cyber-sex is no different. You could go through the motions of getting the juices (yes, those juices) flowing, the scene set up, the lighting just right, and decide you are no longer comfortable and call the session off. This is not only okay but should be respected as if the person were in front of you. No explanation beyond a simple “No” is needed. The same goes for the exchange of images via messages.



The absence of a pillow doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to talk about how great that was. Feel free to talk about what you liked, what felt odd, and how you’d like to go about it next time (if there is a next time). Use this time to explore levels of comfort that are achieved and make a more in-depth understanding of more intense future pleasure.


To be honest, these are the minimum and the sky is the limit. In this time when social distancing is a necessity there has never been a better opportunity to try out (or revisit) camming. It can be a fun way to still have sexy time with partners but without breaking any stay at home orders. Think of this as new sexy tool in your pleasure chest that can be used after Rona is history, who knows, you may have found something (or someone) to connect with on a new level.